Personally, the way I was brought up...you thank someone and are appreciative of the gift no matter what it is, because its the thought that matters and the fact that someone thought enough of you to give you a gift. Isn't one thank you enough? Why does it matter when you say thank you? Does it not count if you don't know exactly what you're thanking them for? That's bullshit, imo. And what kind of person goes around calling people out for not thanking them enough. To me, that's beyond rude. Its downright tacky.
What do you think? Am I wrong? Was I raised in a barn without manners by heathens? Or is this person completely insane?
For those interested in what I'm talking about...here is the transcript of the insanity thus far:
Exchange #1...
From: "XXXX"
To: rebekah@bekahagain.com
Sent: 5/25/2008 10:16 AM
Subject: Disappointment
Dear Bekah,
To say that I am disappointed in you is really an understatement. I gave
it until last night to see if you would do the polite thing and you
didn't.
Let me explain..when we were at the XXXX, I gave you a gift
as a "momento" of this show. Granted.it wasn't much but I did search for
the right "XXXX", ordered it, presented it in a gift bag and GAVE it to
you. I also gave XXXX her gift at the same time. Now I must assume
that sometime between that evening and NOW, you must have opened it. Are
you lacking in common courtesy? You never once acknowledged the gift let
alone say "Thank you". So I am to assume that you didn't like it or
appreciate the thought or you are just plain rude. Maybe it was all of
the above! This is why I am so very disappointed.
XXXX, on the other hand, thanked me the very next day. It is so easy
to say thank you. It is effortless and yet it means so much. So if
nothing else, let this be another of life's lessons. I truly expected
more from you.
Most Sincerely,
XXXX XXXXX
To: rebekah@bekahagain.com
Sent: 5/25/2008 10:16 AM
Subject: Disappointment
Dear Bekah,
To say that I am disappointed in you is really an understatement. I gave
it until last night to see if you would do the polite thing and you
didn't.
Let me explain..when we were at the XXXX, I gave you a gift
as a "momento" of this show. Granted.it wasn't much but I did search for
the right "XXXX", ordered it, presented it in a gift bag and GAVE it to
you. I also gave XXXX her gift at the same time. Now I must assume
that sometime between that evening and NOW, you must have opened it. Are
you lacking in common courtesy? You never once acknowledged the gift let
alone say "Thank you". So I am to assume that you didn't like it or
appreciate the thought or you are just plain rude. Maybe it was all of
the above! This is why I am so very disappointed.
XXXX, on the other hand, thanked me the very next day. It is so easy
to say thank you. It is effortless and yet it means so much. So if
nothing else, let this be another of life's lessons. I truly expected
more from you.
Most Sincerely,
XXXX XXXXX
From: M. Rebekah Williams [mailto:rebekah@bekahagain.com]
Sent: Sunday, May 25, 2008 1:32 PM
To: XXXX
Subject: RE: Disappointment
Wow. I have no idea what to say. I thanked you profusely when I got it.
I was also going to mention it again when I wrote my personal 'thank
you' to each cast member (which is actually what I just logged in to
to). I usually do cards for the last show and not emails, but I was in
rehearsal all day yesterday. I literally JUST woke up and this is what I
see.
I am really sorry that I offended you. I thanked you the night you gave
it to me and I opened it and read the card as soon as I got in the car.
It was extremely thoughtful and I LOVE it. I am sorry that I didn't
thank you enough. But the words 'thank you' were definitely said. I also
said that it was such a sweet thing for you to do.
That being said, when someone thanks you and shows how obviously excited
they are when you give it to them (I was giddy and I thought that was
pretty obvious...I kissed you, if you'll remember)...to call someone out
as rude and inconsiderate for not thanking you enough or being
appreciative enough is, to me the was I was brought up, rude. My
feelings are very hurt, but honestly to gush and gush over something
that I've already thanked someone for and that was kind of supposed to
be on the downlow since not everyone got one isn't my style.
I really don't know what to say other than I am so, so sorry that I
offended you. I am a very polite person who has manners for miles and I
am sorry that my 'thank you' for my gift didn't meet your expectations
and disappointed you. It was such a joy working with you and finally
getting to know you as someone other than just 'XXXXX''s XXXXX whom
I see briefly after shows on occasion. I love and adore you and I hope
that your opinion of me hasn't been marred by what appears to be just a
misunderstanding.
Bekah
Sent: Sunday, May 25, 2008 1:32 PM
To: XXXX
Subject: RE: Disappointment
Wow. I have no idea what to say. I thanked you profusely when I got it.
I was also going to mention it again when I wrote my personal 'thank
you' to each cast member (which is actually what I just logged in to
to). I usually do cards for the last show and not emails, but I was in
rehearsal all day yesterday. I literally JUST woke up and this is what I
see.
I am really sorry that I offended you. I thanked you the night you gave
it to me and I opened it and read the card as soon as I got in the car.
It was extremely thoughtful and I LOVE it. I am sorry that I didn't
thank you enough. But the words 'thank you' were definitely said. I also
said that it was such a sweet thing for you to do.
That being said, when someone thanks you and shows how obviously excited
they are when you give it to them (I was giddy and I thought that was
pretty obvious...I kissed you, if you'll remember)...to call someone out
as rude and inconsiderate for not thanking you enough or being
appreciative enough is, to me the was I was brought up, rude. My
feelings are very hurt, but honestly to gush and gush over something
that I've already thanked someone for and that was kind of supposed to
be on the downlow since not everyone got one isn't my style.
I really don't know what to say other than I am so, so sorry that I
offended you. I am a very polite person who has manners for miles and I
am sorry that my 'thank you' for my gift didn't meet your expectations
and disappointed you. It was such a joy working with you and finally
getting to know you as someone other than just 'XXXXX''s XXXXX whom
I see briefly after shows on occasion. I love and adore you and I hope
that your opinion of me hasn't been marred by what appears to be just a
misunderstanding.
Bekah
Exchange #2...
From: "XXXXX"
To: "'M. Rebekah Williams'"
Sent: 5/26/2008 4:54 PM
Subject: RE: Disappointment
Bekah...if you had said thank you...I would not have sent you this
email. How was I to know that you even opened the gift? It could have
been lost in your car or forgotten! HOW WAS I TO KNOW? When I gave you
the gift, I also gave one to XXXX. I don't expect gushes and repeated
thank you's. ONE would suffice...AFTER OPENING the gift. Why did XXXX
acknowledge the gift the very next evening?... BECAUSE she opened it and
was acknowledging receiving its contents. If saying thank you the night
before was enough, then why would she bother saying it again after she
opened it? Can you answer that question? To say that you thanked me
profusely is a joke. Are we on the same planet? So you receive a gift
and wait to say thank you 9 weeks later? Forgive me for being so
impatient. And yes... not everyone got one. Are you going to rub THAT in
my face? I am not a hypocrite. If I like someone they know it. If I
don't, I don't ACT like I'm their friend...unlike some people. I will be
civil. Hypocrisy is not in my make-up. I figured that you would be very
defensive instead of simply being apologetic. The gift was merely an act
of friendship which obviously wasn't appreciated.
As for my opinion of you, Bekah, don't worry. It has not been marred. We
are from 2 different generations. However so is XXXX and many other
people I know. I have been given many gifts in my life and have not
opened them in front of the people who gave them to me. After opening
the gift, I will call them, write a thank you note or if I know I will
see them, then I will surely say thank you. It is so easy and means so
much.
That's all I expected, Bekah...nothing more...a simple thank you....not
gushes!!! That would be ridiculous, now, wouldn't it?
You are a very talented girl and I wish you much luck with your future
theatrical endeavors.
To: "'M. Rebekah Williams'"
Sent: 5/26/2008 4:54 PM
Subject: RE: Disappointment
Bekah...if you had said thank you...I would not have sent you this
email. How was I to know that you even opened the gift? It could have
been lost in your car or forgotten! HOW WAS I TO KNOW? When I gave you
the gift, I also gave one to XXXX. I don't expect gushes and repeated
thank you's. ONE would suffice...AFTER OPENING the gift. Why did XXXX
acknowledge the gift the very next evening?... BECAUSE she opened it and
was acknowledging receiving its contents. If saying thank you the night
before was enough, then why would she bother saying it again after she
opened it? Can you answer that question? To say that you thanked me
profusely is a joke. Are we on the same planet? So you receive a gift
and wait to say thank you 9 weeks later? Forgive me for being so
impatient. And yes... not everyone got one. Are you going to rub THAT in
my face? I am not a hypocrite. If I like someone they know it. If I
don't, I don't ACT like I'm their friend...unlike some people. I will be
civil. Hypocrisy is not in my make-up. I figured that you would be very
defensive instead of simply being apologetic. The gift was merely an act
of friendship which obviously wasn't appreciated.
As for my opinion of you, Bekah, don't worry. It has not been marred. We
are from 2 different generations. However so is XXXX and many other
people I know. I have been given many gifts in my life and have not
opened them in front of the people who gave them to me. After opening
the gift, I will call them, write a thank you note or if I know I will
see them, then I will surely say thank you. It is so easy and means so
much.
That's all I expected, Bekah...nothing more...a simple thank you....not
gushes!!! That would be ridiculous, now, wouldn't it?
You are a very talented girl and I wish you much luck with your future
theatrical endeavors.
From: M. Rebekah Williams [mailto:rebekah@bekahagain.com]
Sent: Monday, May 26, 2008 5:27 PM
To: XXXX
Subject: RE: Disappointment
Wait a second...so my thanking you BRFORE I opened it didn't count
because I hadn't opened it yet? You know what XXXX...I've been exposed.
You're right...I am an ungrateful person with no manners who obviously
was rasied by heathens. It is more blessed to receive than give. If I am
ever lucky enough to receive a gift from anyone in the future I will be
sure to thank the giver before, during, and after the opening process of
said gift. Thank you for bringing this character flaw to my attention.
And thank you again for my XXXX.
Sent: Monday, May 26, 2008 5:27 PM
To: XXXX
Subject: RE: Disappointment
Wait a second...so my thanking you BRFORE I opened it didn't count
because I hadn't opened it yet? You know what XXXX...I've been exposed.
You're right...I am an ungrateful person with no manners who obviously
was rasied by heathens. It is more blessed to receive than give. If I am
ever lucky enough to receive a gift from anyone in the future I will be
sure to thank the giver before, during, and after the opening process of
said gift. Thank you for bringing this character flaw to my attention.
And thank you again for my XXXX.
Bekah
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