How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Blog

Just had a panic moment....

2011-10-01T01:42:00.000-04:00

Thanks to Facebook I realized there are only two pictures in existence of us together. It's almost like we never happened. That makes me exceedingly sad for some reason. Much sadder than I thought I'd be.

CURRENTLY SEEKING:

2011-09-30T21:10:00.000-04:00

A man who likes to dance and travel and would think it's funny to make up insane stories to try to get on Delilah. Inquire within.

Everything Seems So Much Better Next Door...

2009-08-16T23:44:00.006-04:00

I was out walking my dog today and the house next door was having a dinner party. The dining room window faces the side of the house my apartment is on. It looked like such a wonderful party. It was elegant and sophisticated...things I'm not and, as such, could probably not recreate if I tried. The house next door is this very old house that looks a bit like the Haunted Mansion at Disney World. They've got this fantastic wooden playset for the kids in the backyard with these white lights strung up on it that they turn on occasionally at night. It looks magical with the lights on. The windows all over the house are HUGE and the ceilings are very high. This is the first time I've seen this kind of a dinner party over there. It was around 8:30pm and there were silver candlesticks all around the room and on the table and all of the candles were lit. The room was glowing and everyone around the table seemed to be glowing as well. It looked like the family (the couple and their two children) and an older couple...maybe grandparents? It seemed perfect in every imaginable way and all I wanted was to be in there and be a part of it.

test.

2009-06-30T00:01:00.000-04:00

still trying to get this to stop feeding over to facebook. ugh!

Just Want to Feel Normal Again...

2009-06-28T04:35:00.004-04:00

So, tonight I went out and saw some friends who are in a band here in town. I ran into my BFF whom I've seen about 4 times since I moved to town...almost three months ago. Its no one's fault. I've been through some unusually crazy shit these few months and while I'm sure it seems to all of my "old friends" that I've abandoned them in lieu of a new life and a new set of friends this is simply just not the case. There is a sense of security I find with those new people and when I venture outside of that security blanket I find myself innundated with situations that may or may not freak me out and I never know what will or won't set me off.

The truth of the matter is that a common experience/sense of loss/grief ties all of us together in one way or another and some of us to varying extents, but ultimately we're all in the same boat. I've tried time and time again to reach out to other people in my life who were not involved in what happened and I've found it extremely difficult to relate to them.When I leave Athens I feel like I'm living that dream where you show up to the school dance completely naked. I feel as though I was the worst bridesmaid in the history of bridesmaids for my brother's now wife and I am heartsick about it, but when I'm out in public and not with anyone within relatively small, insulated group I find that I'm suddenly now the quiet, moody girl keeping to herself over in the corner. That was never me before, but its the essence of me now...and I'm not sure what to do with that.

I was out with some T&G friends tonight and ran into my best friend whom I've felt I've been neglecting these past few months and I very much wanted to stay and hang out with her. And I did. And we had a lot of fun. The party moved back to her place and as soon as we get inside her fiance starts throwing those little sidewalk cap things that pop and spark when the hit something. I freaked out a bit was trying so hard to hold my shit together because its something silly and I don't want to make an ass out of myself. We head outside and he continues to throw them and I end up basically having a complete emotional breakdown inside by myself until my BFF realizes I've been gone a long time and comes to find me. I didn't want to say anything and make anyone feel bad, but there is a certain level of awareness/sensitivity that is lacking amongst people who haven't been through this. She apologized and felt awful and went out to explain how that needed to stop, I felt like a total asshole for being a stick in the mud/emotional powderkeg, and was reminded of exactly why its so hard for me to be with my other friends/family lately...because they don't think about that. And why would they? Sometimes things like that don't bother me and other times I get so spooked that I can't function. And there's no way for either of us to know what's going to set it off. I hope they understand that and can wait for me.

FWIW...

2009-06-24T01:17:00.002-04:00

I can't believe I am admitting this...BLOGGING about it, nonetheless...but here goes...

Maybe its because I'm sort tipsy or because I was just a bridesmaid in my baby brother's wedding or because yet ANOTHER one of my friends has gotten engaged this week, but here it is. I am laying it all out. I'll probably be mortified in the morning, but this is how I feel about it.

I think the real reason why I am so anti-marriage/children/serious relationships is that I am so fundamentally damaged that I don't honestly believe I will ever find anyone insane enough to fall in love with me...let alone want to spend their life with me. After being in my brother's wedding and knowing how much his fiance (now wife's) family spent on her wedding and knowing my family doesn't have that set aside for me...even if I wanted a big, fancy wedding I'll NEVER be able to have that...I've just convinced myself that I don't want it and that no one else should either.

So if I seem like I don't care of like I'm being a total bitch about your wedding, please know that underneath all of that I'm jealous that I ultimately truly don't believe I'll ever be in that position and that if by chance I end up there, that I won't be able to make it what I want.

Ultimately, I do honestly love and adore all of you, but yeah...there is a part of me that is a little jealous and resentful of it. And I'm pretty sure you've all figured that out anyway. At least I am adult enough to admit it, right!?

On the Verge...

2009-06-12T12:19:00.003-04:00

of huge motherfucking crocodile tears as I type. Yep...apparently I (and several other of my friends who are equally inept at reading a fucking movie schedule) missed the last night of Annie Hall @ Cine, which I just found out was last night. Well, fuck you, Cine! Yeah...that's right, you're dead to me. This lead me to wonder, "hey, if I were going to host my own film festival what would I show?" Here's what I came up with.

The 1st Annual I'm-By-No-Means-A-Cinephile-But-I-Damn-Sure-Like-Movies Film Festival lineup:

Persona (just to freak Brooke out)

Annie Hall/Manhattan (these would have their own screen and would run back to back the entire festival)

13 Going on 30 (don't fucking judge me)

Synecdoche, NY (but I would require a private screening for myself with no one else there because I don't want any other people around for my total emotional breakdown that happens whenever I watch this movie)

Troll 2/Frankenhooker/Slumber Party Massacre 2/ Evil Dead 2

THE muhfukin' ROOM (complete with a stimulating Q & A with cinematic genius Tommy Wiseau)

Oh, and that little movie Casablanca.

What a Fantastic Evening...

2009-06-12T01:38:00.002-04:00

I saw one of my very favorite plays tonight. And it was the best version of it I've ever seen. How wonderful it is when that happens. It was gutwrenching and hilarious and damn near perfect. *sigh* I'm very excited about seeing Annie Hall in an actual theatrical setting tomorrow night. I'm watching Manhattan as I type to get into the right mindset. I wish it were Manhattan I were seeing at Cine tomorrow night, but Annie Hall is a very close second as far as "Movies I Need to See in a Theater." There are a lot of movies on that list.

Things I Love

2009-06-10T00:08:00.002-04:00

This list is by no means exhaustive.

1. Winning (especially when there's money involved).

2. Kicking ass at trivia.

3. Felicity.

4. Naps.

5. $1.25 Yuengling drafts

6. Good company.

7. Documentaries.

I got all of these tonight.

Bike riding tomorrow. Gurney Thursday. Artsy biopic & Annie Hall in a theater on Friday. I may be headed out of the funk! Yay!

Things I Could/Should Have Done Today vs. What I Did.

2009-06-06T00:00:00.002-04:00

Could/Should have...

1. Seen UP with the movie club.
2. Gone to the party on Park Ave where Modern Skirts, Venice is Sinking, et al played.
3. Prince Birthday Dance Party @ Little Kings.

Did...

1. Cooked dinner.
2. Finished season 3 & started season 4 of Felicity.
3. Drank some Fat Tire.
4. Headed to bed by midnight.

This, my friends (funny my saying that because I'm fairly certain no one reads this), plus greasy hair is what the funk looks like.

In a Mayja Funk!

2009-06-05T20:21:00.002-04:00

That's right. I'm in a major funk. I'm not really sure why, but alas...that's what's going on. There's this really awesome blog I've been meaning to write about one of my little pop-culture obsessions, Pastor Melissa Scott, but I haven't quite been in the mood, so I'll leave you with that teaser. Until then, here's the video of one of the songs I rocked at karaoke last night. Its one of my all-time favorites and I've never been to a karaoke night where they've actually had it. I've been saying for years that I want to do the monologue at the end for an audition sometime. With that, I give you Oran "Juice" Jones with "The Rain."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8utL-XzOp6g

Another Craigslist Gem...

2009-06-02T10:46:00.002-04:00

This is from the Athens Missed Connections section. I'm sure this is a typo, but just because you're deaf that doesn't excuse you from waxing...hawt!

Hello, Paula Shirley, where are you? - m4w - 30 (Athens)

Reply to:mailto:pers-qnyyg-1201257664@craigslist.org?subject=Hello%2C%20Paula%20Shirley%2C%20where%20are%20you%3F%20-%20m4w%20-%2030%20(Athens) [Errors when replying to ads?]Date: 2009-06-02, 9:59AM EDT

I've been lookinf for a lady by the name of Paula Shirley for almost 15 years now. I had a crush on her then and wrote her a note even expressing my love. Then she asked me about it and I denyed it like a dumbass. Only reason why I said no was because my family and I moved to Warner Robins, where I still live today. I tried everywhere looking but to no avail. So, Paula, if you are out there and you remember me from Burney Harris Lyons Middle School back in 1992. All I remember is that you were deaf, had long back hair, you had glasses and you always hung out with a black girl that was deaf as well. If you are out there, please write to me, there are a few things I need to say to make my head clear.

Location: Athens
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 1201257664

Dear Zombie Jesus, Thank You for Answering my Prayers!

2009-04-20T14:56:00.003-04:00

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!JULY 14, 2009!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Quacker Factory

2009-04-08T12:58:00.003-04:00

Check out this clip where a caller describes a Halloween sweater. I'm fairly certain she isn't getting any at home.

If any of you have ever been flipping channels late at night (shit, or even watch The Soup) you are well aware of Quaker Factory and its creative mastermind, Jeanne Bice. She is an unequivocal lunatic. More than that though, her clothes represent to me something about middle age that terrifies me...the point at which a woman gives up and loses all sense of her own sexuality. Would you fuck someone wearing this...

because I damn sure wouldn't and I'm pretty sure anyone I'd be interested in fucking wouldn't either. Just because your body isn't making as much estrogen as it used to doesn't mean you have to give up and look as ridiculous as you possibly can.

Friends, I beg of you...if I ever start wearing shit like this just go ahead and shoot me in the vagina. I've given up and there's no reason left for me to live.

Romanticism vs. Neurotic Realism, aka The Story of My Life

2009-04-07T22:17:00.005-04:00

"Chapter one."

"He adored New York City. He idolized it all out of proportion. "

Uh, no. Make that "He romanticized it all out of proportion. "

So I finally watched Manhattan in its entirety tonight. I'd seen bits and pieces here and there, but never the beginning and never the entire movie. WOW! There is so much I loved about this movie...so very. very much. I've always been a fairly outspoken Annie Hall fan, and truth be told there are still element of Annie Hall I like better (i.e. the characters and the actual storyline), however I think Manhattan has edged its way to the top of my Favorite Woody Allen Films list. Visually it kicks Annie Hall's ass. Manhattan might have one of the most fabulous soundtracks of any movie EVER...and that's taking into account Singles AND Valley Girl. I know, right!? Anyway, this is the kind of movie you'd expect at the end of someone's career...that's how profound I thought this movie was. I feel that way about Synecdoche, NY as well and after I saw it was honestly worried it ultimately meant that Charlie Kaufman had to die or retire from film making. How do you follow something like that up? I love seeing films or hearing music or reading books or seeing theatre that ignites something in me that I forgot was there. I think we all become a little jaded after a while, especially those of us who are artists ourselves, to how powerful art can really be. That moment when art touches something so deep inside of you that it overwhelms you...hearing a song for the first time and that electric/almost spiritual reaction on your body and in your soul, being so enveloped by a book that you are depressed when its over and you're no longer in that world, or being so moved by a play that when the cast comes out for a curtain call you are weeping...and the show was a musical comedy. I got a little verklempt at the end of Manhattan tonight. The tingle means its working.

So, kids...why is life worth living?

Dear Comedy Central...

2009-03-04T12:31:00.004-05:00

Please, for the love of God, release Viva Variety on DVD already. Get with the fucking program.

Thanks,
Me.

Not the Kind of Girl You Take Home

2008-11-27T21:17:00.008-05:00

Its been a long time since I've posted here. That's a common theme with my blogs. .

I've moved and am living alone for the first time ever. I'm a little worried I'll like it too much and end up an old cat lady, but minus the cats and add a lot of dogs.

FYI...for anyone looking to settle down with a nice girl, I am now leasing out my courtship. Don't get any weird ideas, I'm not said nice girl. Its happened again! That's right...another ex has met (and this time actually married) his IT within a year of dating me, catapulting my statistics. Its kind of scary, really. Especially since this particular person used to say they didn't believe in marriage. I warned him when we started dating that I have this weird thing that happens when I date someone and that when we broke up the next person would be "it", so he needed to think really long and hard before he decided to date me. He laughed and said that wouldn't happen. HA! At least I warned him. I have no idea what's going on, but I'm like Good Luck, Chuck. So, if you're interested, let me know...we can work something out. I am all about the Greater Good.

wee dah bo dweeeee da bo deeeeee

2008-06-07T15:23:00.003-04:00

one of my favorite reality tv moments...the sound of frank loesser rolling over in his grave. i now present david, real world NOLA

Update to the Stupidity Part Deux

2008-05-29T22:38:00.001-04:00

So this is what I got tonight. What in the world would lead her to think that I'd email her again after I told her to "LET IT GO"? Sooo funny that she so desperately wants the last word.

From: xxxx
To: "'M. Rebekah Williams'"
Subject: RE: Disappointment
Date: Thu, 29 May 2008 21:50:22 -0400

Please DO NOT email me again!

UPDATE TO THE STUPIDITY!

2008-05-28T19:26:00.004-04:00

So, apparently she's not going to let this go. I apologized several times, I've thanked her again...I'm not sure exactly what else she wants from me at this point. (And thanks, Leigh Ann...I borrowed part of your comment from MySpace for my retort). I've looked up her address and I will be mailing that foul thing back to her. I loved it and I actually own some of the other nuns from the collection, but there is so much negativity attached to it that I don't want it in my house.

Exchange #3...

From: "XXXXX"
To: "'M. Rebekah Williams'"
Sent: 5/28/2008 2:49 PM
Subject: RE: Disappointment

You, my dear, have a lot to learn. You can't be told anything. You need
to learn about protocol. Read Emily Post.

From: "M. Rebekah Williams"
To: "XXXX"
Sent: 5/28/2008 3:16 PM
Subject: RE: Disappointment

And you, my dear, need to take Ann Landers 101. I am fairly certain that on the Grand Scale of Uncouth bitching someone out about a percieved lack of appreciation far outweighs any actual unapprecition. For the love of God...LET IT GO!

Bekah

Well, damn...

2008-05-27T23:55:00.002-04:00

So someone just sent me the original song that "White Lines" came from. It makes "White Lines" not nearly as cool. The original is much better! Its called "Cavern" by Liquid Liquid. Its not just sampled...its practically a direct rip off. Kind of like that God-awful song that uses "Sugar on My Tongue" or that terrible "Darling Angel" song that is a direct rip-off of "Angel of the Morning" by Juice Newton.

I wonder what Ann Landers would say...

2008-05-26T23:46:00.004-04:00

to someone who calls out another person as being rude for not thanking someone ENOUGH for a gift. Because the gift wasn't opened in front of the person, even though the recepient kissed them and THANKED THEM and remarked on how sweet it was of them to do, because there was not ANOTHER thank you AFTER the gift was opened while not in the person's presence, the first thank you didn't count...thus making the recepient rude and uncouth.

Personally, the way I was brought up...you thank someone and are appreciative of the gift no matter what it is, because its the thought that matters and the fact that someone thought enough of you to give you a gift. Isn't one thank you enough? Why does it matter when you say thank you? Does it not count if you don't know exactly what you're thanking them for? That's bullshit, imo. And what kind of person goes around calling people out for not thanking them enough. To me, that's beyond rude. Its downright tacky.

What do you think? Am I wrong? Was I raised in a barn without manners by heathens? Or is this person completely insane?

For those interested in what I'm talking about...here is the transcript of the insanity thus far:

Exchange #1...

From: "XXXX"
To: rebekah@bekahagain.com
Sent: 5/25/2008 10:16 AM
Subject: Disappointment

Dear Bekah,

To say that I am disappointed in you is really an understatement. I gave
it until last night to see if you would do the polite thing and you
didn't.
Let me explain..when we were at the XXXX, I gave you a gift
as a "momento" of this show. Granted.it wasn't much but I did search for
the right "XXXX", ordered it, presented it in a gift bag and GAVE it to
you. I also gave XXXX her gift at the same time. Now I must assume
that sometime between that evening and NOW, you must have opened it. Are
you lacking in common courtesy? You never once acknowledged the gift let
alone say "Thank you". So I am to assume that you didn't like it or
appreciate the thought or you are just plain rude. Maybe it was all of
the above! This is why I am so very disappointed.
XXXX, on the other hand, thanked me the very next day. It is so easy
to say thank you. It is effortless and yet it means so much. So if
nothing else, let this be another of life's lessons. I truly expected
more from you.

Most Sincerely,
XXXX XXXXX

From: M. Rebekah Williams [mailto:rebekah@bekahagain.com]
Sent: Sunday, May 25, 2008 1:32 PM
To: XXXX
Subject: RE: Disappointment

Wow. I have no idea what to say. I thanked you profusely when I got it.
I was also going to mention it again when I wrote my personal 'thank
you' to each cast member (which is actually what I just logged in to
to). I usually do cards for the last show and not emails, but I was in
rehearsal all day yesterday. I literally JUST woke up and this is what I
see.

I am really sorry that I offended you. I thanked you the night you gave
it to me and I opened it and read the card as soon as I got in the car.
It was extremely thoughtful and I LOVE it. I am sorry that I didn't
thank you enough. But the words 'thank you' were definitely said. I also
said that it was such a sweet thing for you to do.

That being said, when someone thanks you and shows how obviously excited
they are when you give it to them (I was giddy and I thought that was
pretty obvious...I kissed you, if you'll remember)...to call someone out
as rude and inconsiderate for not thanking you enough or being
appreciative enough is, to me the was I was brought up, rude. My
feelings are very hurt, but honestly to gush and gush over something
that I've already thanked someone for and that was kind of supposed to
be on the downlow since not everyone got one isn't my style.

I really don't know what to say other than I am so, so sorry that I
offended you. I am a very polite person who has manners for miles and I
am sorry that my 'thank you' for my gift didn't meet your expectations
and disappointed you. It was such a joy working with you and finally
getting to know you as someone other than just 'XXXXX''s XXXXX whom
I see briefly after shows on occasion. I love and adore you and I hope
that your opinion of me hasn't been marred by what appears to be just a
misunderstanding.

Bekah

Exchange #2...

From: "XXXXX"
To: "'M. Rebekah Williams'"
Sent: 5/26/2008 4:54 PM
Subject: RE: Disappointment

Bekah...if you had said thank you...I would not have sent you this
email. How was I to know that you even opened the gift? It could have
been lost in your car or forgotten! HOW WAS I TO KNOW? When I gave you
the gift, I also gave one to XXXX. I don't expect gushes and repeated
thank you's. ONE would suffice...AFTER OPENING the gift. Why did XXXX
acknowledge the gift the very next evening?... BECAUSE she opened it and
was acknowledging receiving its contents. If saying thank you the night
before was enough, then why would she bother saying it again after she
opened it? Can you answer that question? To say that you thanked me
profusely is a joke. Are we on the same planet? So you receive a gift
and wait to say thank you 9 weeks later? Forgive me for being so
impatient. And yes... not everyone got one. Are you going to rub THAT in
my face? I am not a hypocrite. If I like someone they know it. If I
don't, I don't ACT like I'm their friend...unlike some people. I will be
civil. Hypocrisy is not in my make-up. I figured that you would be very
defensive instead of simply being apologetic. The gift was merely an act
of friendship which obviously wasn't appreciated.

As for my opinion of you, Bekah, don't worry. It has not been marred. We
are from 2 different generations. However so is XXXX and many other
people I know. I have been given many gifts in my life and have not
opened them in front of the people who gave them to me. After opening
the gift, I will call them, write a thank you note or if I know I will
see them, then I will surely say thank you. It is so easy and means so
much.

That's all I expected, Bekah...nothing more...a simple thank you....not
gushes!!! That would be ridiculous, now, wouldn't it?

You are a very talented girl and I wish you much luck with your future
theatrical endeavors.

XXXXXXX

From: M. Rebekah Williams [mailto:rebekah@bekahagain.com]
Sent: Monday, May 26, 2008 5:27 PM
To: XXXX
Subject: RE: Disappointment

Wait a second...so my thanking you BRFORE I opened it didn't count
because I hadn't opened it yet? You know what XXXX...I've been exposed.
You're right...I am an ungrateful person with no manners who obviously
was rasied by heathens. It is more blessed to receive than give. If I am
ever lucky enough to receive a gift from anyone in the future I will be
sure to thank the giver before, during, and after the opening process of
said gift. Thank you for bringing this character flaw to my attention.
And thank you again for my XXXX.

Bekah

The Bats Have Left the Belltower

2008-05-26T16:25:00.005-04:00

I'm watching The Hunger for the first time since about age 15 and I forgot how great this movie is. I saw Bauhaus a few years ago and was amazed at how much Peter Murphy was resembling John Waters and how I still found him attractive despite it.

I had no idea Rikki Rocket was so talented!

2008-05-26T12:50:00.001-04:00

La-Dee-Da-Dee...

2008-05-23T17:47:00.001-04:00

ALBANY, N.Y. - New York Gov. David Paterson is granting a full and unconditional pardon to rapper Ricky "Slick Rick" Walters for the attempted murders of two men in 1991.

The pardon is expected to halt efforts to deport Walters to the United Kingdom, the country he left as a child.

The eyepatch-wearing star behind the '80s rap classic "La-Di-Da-Di" served more than five years in prison after the shooting of his cousin and another man. Both survived.

The governor says Walters is now a rap artist and landlord in the Bronx who hasn't had any criminal problems since his release from prison in 1997. He also says Walters has volunteered to counsel youths against violence.

I am currently obsessed with this song!

2008-05-19T00:53:00.003-04:00

I was flipping channels last night around 2am and stumbled upon a Soul Train best of show. This was the song that they were dancing to. I spent all morning trying to figure out what the hell it was. ***DON'T PRESS PLAY UNLESS YOU WANT THIS IN YOUR HEAD ALL DAY***

Another Craigslist Gem!

2008-05-19T00:50:00.001-04:00

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/aus/603080295.html

Mom, I know you're there.

Date: 2008-03-11, 4:38PM CDT

Mom, I know you’re out there, reading this.

How do I know you’re out there?

Let’s begin with that ad of mine that you recently responded to, shall we? You know the one I’m talking about. It was entitled, “Mrs. Robinson, are you trying to seduce me?—m4w--22” That ad ran for three days before I got a response, and I can’t tell you, Mom, how my heart fell when I saw the photo that accompanied the response. It was your Realtor’s headshot, the one on your business card. Even worse was the text of your response. I’m so, so sorry I know now what you’d do to me if we ever “hooked up.” On the other hand, Dad must’ve been a very, very lucky guy back in the day. I dunno, maybe he still is.

I guess, Mom, when I think a bit about it, that I should resign myself to whatever it is that you are doing. After all, you’re an adult and I’m an adult. I can’t tell you what you should do with your life.

But Mom, I’d like to raise a few points.

The first point I’d like to raise is that you’re still married to Dad. Please, please PLEASE tell me that you have his blessing. My mind is reeling now, hoping that you’re not the people who posted “Fun Couple Looking For Others—MW4MW—57” I have a sneaking suspicion, though, that it is you. Now that I know you’re cruising CE, I suspect that there aren’t too many other 57 year old swingers from the Westlake area posting on Craigslist.

The second point I’d like to raise is that you owe it to whoever you’re trying to hook up with to be honest. I mean, I lived with you and Dad for 18 years. You’re not that fun.

Finally, I’d like you to stop responding to my “College Stud Needs a MILF—m4w—22” ads. The only one who should find you to be MILF-y at all is Dad. For me, you are just an “M”. Got it?

Your son.

PS. I’m going to swing by at around 7-7:30-ish to do a load of wash, is that okay? I tried to call you at the office, but they kept telling me that you’re busy.

bonkers.

2008-05-17T01:01:00.002-04:00

you can almost smell the crazy. i'm really posting this for the "bonkers" video, but i felt this needed some set up.

someone PLEASE find me a copy of the "bonkers" script!

Why I Love Craigslist "Missed Connections"...

2008-05-11T21:55:00.002-04:00

This girl wants to know what love is, and she wants this dude to show her. This girl is my age. Lou Gramm!? Seriously!?!?!?! Not Jon Bon Jovi, not Sebastian Bach, but LOU GRAMM! I don't know what to think about this. If my name were Alison I think I'd probably have an Elvis Costello fetish, but this Lou Gramm thing has me completely scratching my head. I wonder if she diddles herself while rocking out to "Midnight Blue". I love how she specifies the time period that she's attracted to and how she's ONLY attracted to men who look like him circa that 30 year span. I suppose if you've seen any pics of him recently you'd know why she makes that clear.

I can kind of sympathize with her. David Gilmore circa Dark Side of the Moon is about the hottest thing EVER.

http://atlanta.craigslist.org/mis/676632644.html

Lou Gramm look-a-like in sandy springs Kroger sat night,white truck - w4m - 30 (sandy springs)

it happened again, another look-a-like of my heart-throb in sandy springs kroger sat night, last night, very young. how old are you? you and your friend on the isle with the cleansers, me and my sister , i have curly hair, my sister has long brown hair. i had on an orange dress, you and your friend drove a white truck. my sister yelled to you in the parking lot. I didn't know what to say. i only like men who look like Lou Gramm the way he looked in the 70s, 80s and 90s. if you see this posting please respond, Alison

WOAH!

2008-05-11T21:50:00.003-04:00

Its been a really, really long time since I've blogged here. I need to start keeping up with this a little bit better. I have no idea why I blog at MySpace, but not here. MySpace blogs are shitastic.

Delilah, Christmas Songs

2006-12-22T23:32:00.000-05:00

Okay...so its Christmas time. And according to Peach 94.9 its been Christmas time since before Thanksgiving. There are a few Christmas songs that really get to me and make me a little teary. They're typically the uber traditional ones...the shit that you sing at Midnight Mass on Christmas Eve. I like my emotion subtle and uncoaxed. I am a Little Drummer Boy kind of girl. An O Come O Come Emmanuel girl if you will.

I get really pissed off when popular singers record these fucking insanely sad songs made sadder by the fact that they deal with Christmas. Case in point...that stupid ass Christmas Shoes song. Anyone know this song? If you're unfamilliar with this manipulative piece of shit let me post some lyrics for you...

"It was almost Christmas time, there I stood in another line
Tryin' to buy that last gift or two, not really in the Christmas mood
Standing right in front of me was a little boy waiting anxiously
Pacing 'round like little boys do
And in his hands he held a pair of shoes

His clothes were worn and old, he was dirty from head to toe
And when it came his time to pay
I couldn't believe what I heard him say

Sir, I want to buy these shoes for my Mama, please
It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry, sir, Daddy says there's not much time
You see she's been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes would make her smile
And I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight

He counted pennies for what seemed like years
Then the cashier said, "Son, there's not enough here"
He searched his pockets frantically
Then he turned and he looked at me
He said Mama made Christmas good at our house
Though most years she just did without
Tell me Sir, what am I going to do,
Somehow I've got to buy her these Christmas shoes

So I laid the money down, I just had to help him out
I'll never forget the look on his face when he said
Mama's gonna look so great

Sir, I want to buy these shoes for my Mama, please
It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry, sir, Daddy says there's not much time
You see she's been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes would make her smile
And I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight

I knew I'd caught a glimpse of heaven's love
As he thanked me and ran out
I knew that God had sent that little boy
To remind me just what Christmas is all about"

Are you fucking kidding me!? What is sadder than a poor child with a dying mom? A poor child with a dying mom AT CHRISTMAS. This is supposed to make me weep and cherish my mother who isn't dying, right? It doesn't. It just pisses me off that you are trying to manipulate my emotions. Fuck that. This is the equivalent of those bullshit emails that people forward you intended to tug at your heartstrings, but instead piss you off because you just wasted time reading it.

There is a song written by one of my favorite songwriters of all-time, Ms Dolly Parton called Me & Little Andy. What? You've never heard of it? I'll bet if she'd set the story at Christmastime you'd hear it non-stop on Deliah from Novemeber through December. I will post the lyrics and I will add some suggested changes that Dolly should make so that this song becomes Christmas legend. Let me preface this by saying that I like this song, but for all the wrong reasons. Its terrible. And when Dolly does the little girl's voice its even more terrible. PLEASE track this down and give it a listen. It will make your day. Then you will burn in Hell for laughing about a girl and her dog dying.

Late one cold and stormy night I heard a dog a barkin (lets change night to christmas eve)
Then I thought I heard somebody at my door a knockin
I wondered who could be outdide in such an awful storm
Then I saw a little girl with a puppy in her arms
Before I could say a word she said, my name is sandy
And this here is my puppy dog, its name is little andy
Standing in the bitter cold in just a ragged dress
Then I asked her to come in and this is what she said
Chorus:

Aint ya got no gingerbread
Aint ya got no candy
Aint ya got an extra bed for me and little andy
Patty cake and bakersman
My mommy ran away again
And we was all alone and didnt know what else to do
I wonder if youll let us stay with you

Giddy up trotty horse, going to the mill (we can change this to giddy up jingle horse pick up your feet)
Can we stay all night
If you dont love us no one will
I promise we wont cry
London bridge is fallin down
My daddys drunk again in town
And we was all alone and didnt what we could do
I wonder if youll let us stay with you

She was just a little girl, not more than six or seven
But that night as they slept the angels took them both to heaven
God knew little andy would be lonesome with her gone
Now sandy and her puppy dog wont ever be alone

Aint ya got no gingerbread
Aint ya got no candy
Aint ya got an extra bed for me and little (whispers) andy

So wait just a goddamn minute...they die AFTER they've got a nice warm bed? That makes no sense to me. Did she have TB or some other disease before she even got there? Did she get hypothermia out in the cold and she couldn't thaw out? Was she poisoned by Dolly and her evil gingerbread? What the fuck is going on here?

Why Does God Hate Me?

2006-12-21T00:57:00.000-05:00

Those of you who know me know how anal I am about my CDs and making sure they don't get scratched. Now that I have my own computer I've taken on the task of ripping them to my Mac for archival purposes. Well, if there's one thing I hate more than a scratched CD its not having a complete album on my computer/iPod. Fuck if about 12 CDs so far are incomplete because at some point I let my shit get scratched. Its making me a crazy person.

On a brighter note, I downloaded mactheripper, so I will have my Trapped in the Closet DVD on here soon. It will go everywhere I go...just like that creepy My Buddy doll.

=

Love!

2006-12-16T13:13:00.001-05:00

Its been an eventful week. Tomorrow is the last show for White Christmas, thank God. Its been great, don't get me wrong. Its been the lowest "drama" cast EVER and I've had fun. I've worked my ass off (literally and figuratively) and its been amazing, but it's worn me out. I got cast in Hony Tonk Angels and that starts rehearsals Thursday. I'm really looking forward to it. I'll also be in rehearsals for Anything Goes the entire rehearsal period/run of HTA, but I have a lot more ass that needs working off. Plus the money for HTA was just too good to pass up. I have two classes at UCB this summer to pay for.

Oh yeah...the title of this blog is Love! I guess I need to address that. His name is Frank and he's everything I've ever wanted and more. And...get this...he's black! You know what they say! Here's a pic...

Oh K-fed, You Fucking Retard...

2006-09-26T09:21:00.000-04:00

So, apparently the future of pop music isn't making it onto K-Fed's album. Check this out...its K-Fed rocking out to his own shitty song. This is really brilliant. It Portugese for "Goddamn Retard".

Joni Mitchell

2006-08-23T21:34:00.000-04:00

Is pretty much a genius. I've never really liked this song much. I'm more of a Blue/For the Roses/Court and Spark kind of girl and this particular song is off of Clouds. I heard this again today and it resonated with me in a way that it never had before.

Moon and Junes and Ferris wheels
That dizzy dancing way you feel
As every fairy tale comes real
I've looked at love that way.

But now it's just another show
You leave them laughing when you go
And if you care, don't let them know
Don't give yourself away.

I've looked at love from both sides now
From give and take, but still somehow
It's love's illusions I recall
I really don't know love at all.

Oh Hell to the No...

2006-08-22T22:41:00.000-04:00

This is pretty much the most awesome thing I've ever read.

from www.wsbtv.com

Author: Bin Laden Obsessed With Whitney Houston
Al-Qaida Leader Wanted To Kill Singer's Husband, Author Says

POSTED: 8:46 am EDT August 22, 2006

NEW YORK -- Sudanese poet and novelist Kola Boof, who claims to have been Osama bin Laden's sex slave, has written in her autobiography, "Diary of a Lost Girl," that the al-Qaida leader was obsessed with Whitney Houston.

The New York Post quoted Boof as saying bin Laden told her Houston was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen.

Boof said he even talked about spending a lot of money to go to the U.S. and meet her.

She said he wanted to give Houston a mansion and he'd be willing to break his color rule and make her one of his wives.

As for Houston's husband Bobby Brown, Boof said bin Laden talked about having him killed.

She said bin Laden believed Houston was "truly Islamic" but had been "brainwashed by American culture and by her husband.".

Bobby Brown has pretty strong ideas about terrorism and what it means to be an American.

But what I want to know, and what the article didn't address, is would Osama dig a doodie bubble out of Whitney's butt?

Later! Gotta go drop Bobbie Christina off at the pool.

This is Goddamned Hillarious.

2006-08-20T22:26:00.000-04:00

Fancy New Blog.

2006-08-20T22:01:00.000-04:00

I am pretty much too cool for school. This is my new blog. I haven't posted in my LiveJournal blog is SO LONG. And MySpace is okay, but its not the best. So I'm going to try this out and see what happens.

Oh, and so see motherfucking SNAKES ON A motherfucking PLANE if you know what's good for you.